884 to go

I have to take a fortnight's course of tablets 8 times over 6 months. This morning I took the 12th of 896 Xeloda pills. Only 884 to go.

So far the only obvious side effect was my finger tips tingling in the night but my fingerprints are still there so the heist is on hold.

Chemo! (to the tune of 'Rooney!')

I have just taken my first chemo tablets. So far so good. I have to take 4 in the morning and 4 in the evening for 2 weeks with a week off. If any cells from the tumour are still hanging around this should polish them off.

Sorted for Pills

Collected my chemo from Karen who made Shell's day by giving us a drug management chart. I'll have 8 courses of Xeloda (Capecitabine) over 6 months. Karen advised us to get a thermometer and acqueous cream - as well as nausea I need to watch out for fever and hand/foot syndrome (which, thriller fans, can erase fingerprints!). The most likely side effect is diarrhoea so we went to pharmacy to collect some Loperamide only to meet Bex on the way who sorted it asap.

Checked out my leaky stoma with Sharon and, of course, she could see nothing obviously wrong. Hopefully the fistula or whatever it was has healed. I have various powders and ointments to help heal the sore skin.

Dicee Leaks

The Savages Christmas party was as raucous as ever with the Wilkes/Hollys winning the quiz trophy. I retired early pooped by the travel and two leaky bags. I'm pretty sure I wasn't stinky (in this family the chance to laugh at a fart is seldom missed and I'm proud to know I wouldn't have been spared) but apologies, Tom, for hogging the bathroom and thanks to Bridie for her no questions asked laundry service. The skin on one side of the stoma is sore from leaking and I'm a bit worried that chemo won't help so I'll check it out with the stoma nurse tomorrow before the chemo appointment.

This morning an enormous good luck poster was on the kitchen wall, with messages and drawings from Katie, Niamh, Charlie, Eve, Heather, Tom and Ellie. The drawings were mainly of lucky stuff (including a Norwich City scarf) but I think there was some poo too(or a very primitive, brown clover?); gritty realists these Brummies and Mancs. And yes I suppose poo is lucky.

Tom's scarf sketch should have alerted us! While driving back to Norwich wondering how many layers to wear we heard the result: Norwich 4 Sheffield United 2. To us the day before the Wednesday my chemo starts is just a Tuesday and Tuesday games are at 7.45. To everyone else the Tuesday after a Saturday Christmas is a bank holiday and bank holiday games are at 3pm. Great result though and we're relieved we don't have to go out tonight.

Stuffed

Boxing day games and buffet at Wendy's with Jessie, Victor and Dave. Ate too much but worked it off with the Forehead Name Game, Charades and a sing song. Had belly ache but not too bothered as distracted by amazing Ashes highlights - surely we can't lose! Read in someone else's blog that jelly babies and marshmallows are good for stabilising my bag because of the pork gelatin; yum! Will put them on the Chopin Liszt we got in our Christmas stocking from Marg'. Nick gave me marshmallows with my Christmas peppermint cocoa - smart guy. And we're all smart for not getting Palace tickets as the match was frosted off;"Championship? You're having a laugh".

Happy Christmas

Thanks and Christmas Greetings to anyone who's shown the slightest interest in this blog (including someone in Russia who found it in error by Googling 'Fightstar Things'). I know some of you who check regular for dirty bag stories and send heartening messages; but the volume of hits makes me think that there are a lot of folks misdirected by their searches. Either way it's great to feel so supported and it's been really useful to keep friends and family up to date without endless difficult calls and texts. Check back next week to find out how the chemo's going.

We are both exhausted - home from London with my favourite Bolognese al Forno for dinner as we had Christmas dinner with Dad last night. Contentment slightly marred by the disappointment of the end of Christmas Angry Birds.

Itchy Bag

It's nothing like the belly pain I had but itching where my bag sticks on is real torture - having a good scratch would be dangerous! All set for Christmas as my new (Superdry appropriately enough) dungarees arrived. Should help minimise itching as well as making me look cool, well, a cool toddler.

Substantial Gains

Jules contributed to my increasing girth last night and relieved Shell of Hostess duties by plying us with alcohol laced cheese fondue. I weigh 4 kilos more this morning than when I came out of hospital and 3 of those probably came from the copious amounts of Gruyere and Emmental. Jules and I beat Colin and Wendy at Trivial Pursuit. Exhausted from lovely birthday and visits from Frankie, Stevie (who brought Justin campaign bunting) and Nick.
Blood test today - hope it doesn't show up too much alcohol (mulled wine, red and white wine, rum and ginger; Shell said the ginger was therapeutic).

Happy Birthday

Glad to be older (been contemplating the alternative recently) and enjoying my birthday breakfast of Kedgeree. It's going to be a nice day.

UTI F'd Off!

Dr Valdez proclaims all blood and protein gone and says residual pain is from healing - Ding Dong the bugs are dead! Bring on the Capecitabine (chemo drug). The Doc said to get back to him anytime if the infection returns and is confident it will be long gone by the 29th.

Had a warm feeling about Dr Valdez and then another - and found a trickle running down my leg. The great thing about not trusting my body is that I was hugely relieved to find that I hadn't closed the Velcro tabs on my bag. Hurrah! Nothing serious, just my bag leaking! Peggy gave me a conspiratorial look.

UTI - F O!

I get up every 2 hours at night for a drink (I need more liquid because my small bowel is doing the job of my non functioning large one). Every time I wee I'm conscious that I still have a UTI contracted in the hospital month ago (which has resisted 3 antibiotics) and that having chemo will make me less able to deal with infections. Not conducive to getting back to sleep! We go to the GP tomorrow to try and get it sorted ready for the 29th.

Mmn Mulled Wine

Bit stiff from last night's minimal activity but feeling good - particularly as excruciating nightime belly pain has stopped. Guess it was the small glass of Guinness - disappointing as I had flattened it but suppose it was the yeast that did it.

Choir was fun and had mulled wine there and in the pub afterwards; never mind the Guinness.

Have devised a Cryptic Musicals Quiz to raise money for the choir. Email me or comment here if you'd like one and you can pay a £ via paypal or IOU. It's very easy but not quite as easy as this example:

M--- -- -- -- -----  St Meet Me Louis

Don't Tell Matron

Illegal activities tonight! I spent 20 minutes of Shell's 2 hour table tennis training  practising wickedly spinny serves with Martin. I'm not supposed to do any sport for a few more weeks (and I should wear a protective belt) but by then I'll be on chemo and it may make me allergic to ping pong. It wasn't vigorous exercise but it was good to hold a bat and for a little while I felt normal even though I was wearing dungarees.

Crimbo Then Chemo

I have my first chemo appointment on 29th December. It was going to be 12th January but I stuck my bottom lip out. The decision to go ahead wasn't easy - it's going to be an unpleasant 6 months with possible side effects ranging from diarrhoea through sickness and hair loss to flaking hands and feet (and death for 1 person in a hundred). It also means the stoma reversal won't happen until the treatment finishes. My immune system will be impaired so I will be out of bounds to visitors with colds, flu, cholera, STDs...  My oncologist, the magnificently named Dr Biswas, took over where Lou left off in briefing me on odds. The advantage of treatment is the chance of the cancer not returning goes up to 78% and although that's only 3% more than without chemo - I could be one of those 3 people in a hundred!

So I won't need to drink too much at new year to feel wrecked and Shell will have to continue her Domestic Goddess role for a good while ( she saved £13 with multibuy at Tesco today; great deals on cream cakes). I'm asking Santa for some of the Boxers for stoma wearers.

Lovely Stoma Nurse

Nurse Nicki sorted me out this morning. I was cutting my stoma template all wrong. I'm really moved by how sensitive and skilled so many nursing staff are - we had a really useful, uninhibited conversation while I was kneeling in front of the loo with a dribble of poo on my belly and she left me feeling good about myself.

Win, Lose and Drawers

My winning run continues as I continue to feel healthy - climbing the steps to our seats at Carrow Road (and managing half a glass of red wine last night) but Norwich's ended with a 0-2 loss to Portsmouth as they stole the game in the last 10 minutes. Will do better at Coventry next week!

We found a great story on STV; Nicola Dames designs underwear and swimwear for people with stoma bags. Her young models have had colon ops (as did she). The girls and boys wear refreshingly cool kit- no flesh coloured poly in sight and the models are fab, feisty things.

http://living.stv.tv/fashion/181714-sexy-swimwear-for-colostomy-bag-wearers/

http://www.vblush.com/default.html

Oncology

I've got an appointment to talk about chemo on Tuesday. Hope treatment can start before Christmas. I've got yet another antibiotic for the UTI - one used for treating Clap! It's a real horse pill with perceptible side effects so it should do the trick. Apart from the UTI I'm getting loads better; I no longer walk like Hercule Poirot, don't have to change the bag as often, feel stronger. Totally up for the Pompey match this afternoon in our usual seats.

Sometimes it's better not to google

The GP phoned and said the UTI is a Protozoa germ rather than a bacteria. Of course I googled straightaway and saw a list containing Gonorrhea, Syphilis and Great Pox. Another page referred to 'masturbation injury' Im really hoping these conditions were randomly thrown into my search results and can't really be contracted via a hospital catheter.

Rob and Matt popped in last night and while Matt played Ninja Fruit I exchanged notes with Rob, whose adolescence was blighted by colon ops (does that mean you had a teenage dirtbag?) Delighted to find that Rob has a J Pouch and has no problems with it. I have been google wary as far as the stoma reversal is concerned - the J pouch is there to collect poo because the tumour and radiotherapy scarring meant Mr Kapur had to cut low under the sigmoid colon - and it all sounded a little frantic and hard to manage. But Rob is always serene and dignified. Ok I can't be either of those, J Pouch or not but I feel much cheerier for having a Pouch Buddy.

Chance

As I've had cancer twice now I decided to get better at reading odds and had some poker tuition with Lou who plays successfully online and at the club in Norwich's own Reno; Anglia Square. I got a bit exhausted trying to treble bluff and won't be playing for money for a while yet.

I've ditched the fancy Dansac bags as I had two nights when I woke up  with a zeppelin swollen with methane and poo strapped to my stomach and had to walk gently but purposefully away from innocent bystanders Peggy and Shell for safe defusing. The Coloplast valves seem to be more reliable.

I feel a lot fitter this morning but I am horrified by my lack of muscle tone. It's a month since I last had table tennis training and it'll be another month  till I'm allowed to play again. The New Year work out with Martin will be about building up - not the post Christmas burning off and drying out of last year.

Visitors

Marg and Ted braved the dodgy wires of National Express (7 hr round trip from London) and took us for cake. Dr Ted was delighted with the accuracy of his early punt that no spread should mean clear lymph and said that belt and braces chemo was a good idea. Marg presented a Serve & Obey paper knife which could probably be classed as an offensive weapon - it will be treasured.

I told the Offermans that the blog has given me a little vanity value. I can check to see which countries have made hits. Of course we know Serena in New Zealand, Inga and Elaine in Iceland, Annelies and Monique in Belgium, Joy in Switzerland, Marian in Malawi and Sam in Ghana (sorry Betty - Scotland is classed by Google as part of the UK). To date the blog has also been seen in Croatia, Singapore, Russia, South Korea and USA. I must have pissed off a lot of people who simply wanted to know how long a colon is in inches.

No Label

I'm up a lot in the night rehydrating and emptying the bag but last night a lingering anxiety became a sleep wrecking revelation - I forgot to label my sample! Went to the GP yesterday to try to find out why the catheter trauma/ UTI isn't healing and I forgot to label my tube of wee. Let's help no one else did the same thing or I may be diagnosed pregnant or having prostate problems.

Hello SEAN SAVAGE! You are one of the most loyal blog fans - checking regularly for posts and dutifully relaying news to Bridie. All the more impressive as until a few months ago your computer skills were limited to playing Patience. Now Google is your oyster. Next - selling the shed contents on Ebay.

Priceless

I have identified my preferred bag (not of the Eastpak variety). Bizarrely it references a good night out - Scroobius Pip and a curry - the Dansac. With my first pack (plain brown envelope in the post) I got a card for my wallet that will get me places:

Too cold to protest

Toilet proximity anxiety and fear of being cold kept me at home while Shell and Peggy went to the Cuts Demo. Excellent coverage on both Anglia and BBC with shots of Jules, Nick ....and Peggy!

Almost had a bag disaster - the new ones do not have folded closures and you're supposed to remember to do this yourself. I noticed just in time!

Held on to a 1-2 win at Derby - a fixture we had hoped to get to but realistically the next away match might be Coventry if I can sort the TPA and fear of being cold!

Big wide world

Went to choir last night to say hi and because Stephanie's breathing exercises are handy. Lots of good wishes and good to talk to people who've come through similar stuff. Marcia brought us a Lemon Meringue and plum jam! Yum.

Chemo?

The colorectal nurse, Jane, phoned to report back on this morning's Team meeting. Mr Kapur has made a referral to an oncologist who I'll see in a fortnight to discuss whether chemo is a good idea.

Chill time

Sharon, my stoma nurse came today and is lovely. She says that getting hungry suddenly is down to not being able to eat much fibre and so carbo load. She's going to get me a special support belt and protector for playing table tennis. She said I wouldn't be up for much for another few weeks.

What a day

From a hideous low point this morning we are both as euphoric as is possible for 2 people who have been repeatedly numbed by the process and potential of cancer. Mr Kapur said he would talk with the oncologist about whether to go for chemo as belt and braces (as Rob pointed out, braces are much easier with a stoma bag!).

The District Nurse was lovely and the metal stitches came out easily.

Please note the change in the Blog Title as I now officially have no cancer!

Clear Lymph!

Mr Kapur phoned to reassure me about the blood clots. And did he reassure me - biopsy results show LYMPH GLANDS CLEAR! There are also good margins in the area of the tumour (no spread). Not bad given that the tumour was graded D (where A is small). Champagne nurse Shell!

Scary bloody morning

Peed a big clot of blood and terrified of spread. GP Mike Laurence very reassuring - probably the result of catheter trauma. District nurse will check when she comes.

Bragging Rights

We whooped the tractor boys 4-1 in the Old Farm Derby. Grant Holt scored a hat trick and was magnificent as was Henri Lansbury. The Ability Counts stand was warm and the toilets very handy! We got a taxi to the ground but the match energized me enough to walk back; less arduous than yesterday. Stitches out tomorrow.

Comfy seats

Shell has swapped our seats at Carrow Road for 2 in the Ability Counts stand; inside, with lifts and toilets. Come on you yellows!

Log blog

Shell the homemaker is relentlessly making fires to keep us warm and cosy. Our wood supply has been a victim of the weather but this afternoon Kate & Rob secretly replenished the woodpile. Thank you!

Tiny Steps

I went for my first walk outside since the op, cleared the path of snow and chopped some firewood. Just kidding! I only walked to the petrol station and back but felt like I'd done all three.

They're back - get the fire on!

My heroines returned from their mercy mission and I now have trimethoprim as well as flucaloxacillin to treat an infection where my canula was. The girls dried off in front of the fire (I'm hot enough and not in a good way!) Sorted in less than 2 hrs. Fingers crossed I didn't pick anything else up at the N&N.

Cranberries are for turkey

The UTI, lurking since my catheter got unplugged in the painful contortions of last Sunday, finally kicked in. Plenty of fluids have kept it at bay but all the cranberries in the world were not going to stop this stinger last night. Nurse Shell had the doc fax the prescription to Riverside Boots and set off with rescue husky Peggy through this morning's blizzard. I'll let you know when they're back.

Lovely Day

Next official appointment is with the District Nurse to remove my stitches on Monday, then on Tuesday the stoma nurse comes to tell us the results of the lymph node biopsy. Until then we'll have a relaxing time and prepare me for tacking Carrow Road steps on Sunday. When I was saying anything to get discharged I offered to watch from home on BBC but the Junior Docs were adamant I should go the match - good dinner party anecdote I guess.

Got the Ashes highlights online and been waited on by nurse Shell. Reading yet another book in which a character has colon cancer. The upside of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest is that Lisbeth Salander, ill in hospital, still manages to kick ass. And I'm sure the Swedish hospital she's in would have had a swankily furnished room specially for poo bag training.

Richard, a fellow patient, gets out today. We played scrabble in the day room yesterday while we waited for my drugs. He had a similar experience to mine and was surprised at the pain when the epidural finished (tho his was worse because the epidural came out prematurely). His cancer was picked up early by using the national screening programme kit. I hope we bump into each other again in several years time at a clinic giving us both the all clear. He was rubbish at scrabble though.

Home

Shell, open fire, red wine(it's a tiny glass!) and it's snowing outside. Peggy's shown no interest in jumping on the bed or my belly - Heaven!

Toilet Training

If I can show the nurse l can manage my stoma bag l can go. No
pressure there then. The location for the test is a gents toilet with
no clean surface on which to put my sterile bits and pieces....of
course l pass. Various drugs were delivered by hand by Brooksie and
Bex came 2 say bye. I AM OUT!

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Sent from my mobile device

Free?

The doc will let me go today if I pass my stoma training. Can't be
rocket science bagging poo?

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Sent from my mobile device

Unhealthy Places

Feel great this morning apart from not getting enough sleep. A lot of
bodily fluids got cleared up last night, dozens of drip alarms bleeped
as did constant nurse call bells - sounded like a bad Philip Glass
track and the smell defied comparison. I gotta get out!

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Sent from my mobile device

More Comment

A fully qualified A1 Harridan she removed my drain tube, which had evaded less seasoned staff members, with one swift snap shooting it thru the air like Annie Oakley's whip. She is not adequately rewarded by the NHS and seemed disproportionately elated with the packet of wine gums I offered in thanks.

Thanks to all the food parcels for Shell You can be sure I will have her on a full perfect hostess training programme when I get home and she will be available for parties/
Civil Partnerships. She has already begun a line in Mini Trifles - a delightful alternative to mash.

Seems like the team haven't been fooled by my suggestion of tomorrow for discharge. I am shattered by walking to the loo 5 times so far today (ok vanity dictated I ditch the Zimmer). Looking like Thursday or Friday.

Which seemed just as well as I and a few of my ward mates watched Peggy waving from the car park. My tummy probably needs to heal a bit more before being closer to that dog.

Are we really getting H Lansbury? Waggsie, Nick - we should be told

Out soon!

Mr K says l can go nxt few days. Few more tubes out today. Doc said
'what Derby' & team sniggered. Told me not to cheer if Norwich score.
I said no if.

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Sent from my mobile device

Walking

Huge turnaround today down to harridan Pauline who raised an eyebrow at my pain index and insisted that at this stage i should be thinking about walking to the bathroom. Catheter removal dangled as a carrot has been very effective. I got up and washed with stoma nurse Theresa and after lunch walked with physio Johnny. Pain much more bearable.

comment?

wow ta 4 comments girls & Nick. Footbl is gr8 medicin - if we'd won I'd probly be home. think my days of chesting the ball maybe gone tho. No water drinking by med team that i kno - anaesthetist's homebrew more likely. Spot on about potato - the week menu has mash with all meals (macaroni cheese?!)
xxx

Ouch!

Epidural security blanket gone & spasm pain has turned ward blue.
Morphine didnt help. Gonna get better pain relief

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Sent from my mobile device

Wake up and smell the...

Colin brought chocolate wafer tubes. Am l in Starbucks? Obv No; I'm on
an epidural so no fantasies. Apols to Nil by mouths on ward tho. Can
get up and got Guardian scrabble teaser(phew) so on target for derby
match next sunday. Stevie cheered for me yesterday.
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It's a gurgle!

Doctor said I could eat but forgot to tell the man with the trolley so had a passionate debate for my right to minced beef and mash in gravy. Managed to get out of bed and sit in the chair to eat among Heston Blumenthal-style tubes and bottles. Felt strong enough to listen to NCFC on the radio but coming back to a 1-1 draw was quite stressful and I bit on my thermometer when we equalised. My bag started to gurgle this evening which is good news if embarrassing.

New Quiz!

Shell here, have uploaded Di's latest brainteaser for you all which is a Things to do with NHS In Patient Treatment Quiz. Wendy and Ben are going to visit Di this afternoon so I'm sure it will keep them amused if she drifts off to sleep. Di and I are learning new things all the time during her hospital stay. I was amazed to discover that you can get trapped wind in your shoulders! that's why Di was so itchy there the other night. Yesterday I read through the very helpful ileostomy guide whilst Di napped and we had a giggle when she woke up and i read her this little fascinating fact from the sexuality section: "One way to check if you are getting erections overnight is to stick a row of postage stamps with the perforations intact around your penis. If you have an erection overnight, the perforations will be broken in the morning..." It's sweet to see Di laugh. She told Jules she calls her ward the Pink Panther ward. Jules was confused til Di sang "Dilham, dilham, dilham, dilham, dilham, dilham dilhammmmmmmm" The ward are very strict about only two visitors at a time at the allotted times so please let me know if you want to go up and see Di in hospital. Thanks all.

Sleep!

Quiet nite - lots of sleep. Saw mr Kapur & he said when bag bubbles I
can eat. Hope match not fogd off. Shell& Peg cosy@ home

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Sent from my mobile device

Knickers!

Hiya, Shell again. Well done Di for her first mobile blog. Have just got home from the hospital and am pleased to see it worked. I was there when the surgeon did his rounds which was great. He said he couldn't see any spread of the cancer which is really good news. Operation got complicated cos of all the scar tissue left over from the radiotherapy from 15 years ago. Di is very tired but managed to complete her new quiz for you which i will upload tonight. Meantime, here's the last pic before her op with her showing off her gorgeous operating theatre pants. 

Have bag will travel

I have a temp stoma bag but feel fine!

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Back on the ward

Hi all, Shell here. This is just a quickie cos I'm sure Di will update you all tomorrow when she's a bit stronger. The operation was longer than expected and she didn't get back to the ward til 7pm. Had an hour or so with her. She'll fill you in on all the details, just wanted you all to know she's OK. Thanks for thinking of us today.

Lie In!

The op will be around 1.00pm tomorrow so I hope the theatre team don't eat too much pudding at lunch. They'll start off with keyhole but may need to go larger. We won't know for a week or so if the lymph nodes are diseased (and if I'll need chemo). I should be tubeless by and eating sometime on Friday, so fit to listen to Norwich Leeds on Saturday. The lack of appeal of the hospital's food is addressed as part of the pre op - I'm advised to ask visitors to bring white bread ham sandwiches, victoria sponge and baby bels! I'm allowed breakfast at 6am and will check into the Day Procedure unit at 11am. Had to stop off at TK Maxx on the way home to get a dressing gown so I look decent on the way to surgery. Shell pursuaded me not to get the wrestler gown embroidered with skulls and 'Death Before Dishonour'.

Apparently I can text to update my blog so the next thing you read might be some Aldous Huxley like ramble!

Pre Op today

After table tennis training with the twins (Martin's going to teach me evil new serves when I'm convalescing) we went to Jules' last night for cheesecake and tales of Switzerland where she had a good time with Joy. They checked the blog so now there is a tiny patch of green on the stats map. I've got a hit from Sam in Ghana too and one from Alaska (which must be a mistake?).

 Great dinosaur picture from Lucas in the post. Modern toddlers huh? - it says 2 Diana!

Tests for MRSA , blood pressure and stuff this afternoon. I'm terrified I'll get a cold and the anaesthetist will say No Go! I took things a bit far on Google last night and watched some Anterior Resections on video. I did feel a bit queasy. If I was on a desert island I'm  guessing I would be unable to take a sharp flint to myself. I'll check it out this afternoon but I think the op will be several lots of keyhole surgery (they'll take out the lymph nodes too). Last week's Evening news said the N&N has been criticised for using old fashioned kit for Keyhole Surgery which, in Norfolk, does indeed suggest a pointy flint or maybe a rusty jail key. I have no doubt that this was out of date news and the instruments are now the required Gold Standard.

I do feel extremely positive about the operation and surgeon, but once again, reading newspapers and books mitigates against this. I've just finished 'The Suspicions of Mr Whitcher' in which 3 people die of an obstructed bowel. No more reading for me - where's Ellie's mix mp3s?

Been to Brum/No Bag Required

We stayed the week end with Shell's folks in Birmingham and Bridie provided superb fibre free fry ups and a roast with trifle which will be a mouth watering memory in a few days when I am on Neutricia Pre- op drink. I had a bundle of info (including a Dvd) from the colorectal nurses in the post with helpful pointers about before and after. The operation is called a High Anterior Resection and means I shouldn't need a stoma bag. Amazingly Mr Kapur will remove most of my sigmoid colon and sew the rest back together. I hope the colon is as elastic as they so or I will be permanently curled up into a ball. I should be out of hospital in 4 -7 Days and it'll take a couple of months to feel fit again, maybe 3 weeks to be able to drive.

We saw Maria and Ellie and Shaun and Sue as well as Bridie and Sean in Acocks Green and talked to undergraduate Tom on the phone. Ellie kindly gave me a Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus/ Demi Lovato mix cd. I'm on a low residue diet to try and limit this sort of thing! (But thanks for the Fightstar and Frank Turner tracks). Ta also Maria for slippers and book and Bridie for Holy Water.

Wendy and Colin round tonight for send off meal. Wendy showed us the latest baby scan. We're both being seen at the hospital, we both tire easily, have to drink loads of liquids and get ravenous .....but I'll be able to have a few G & Ts soon!

Op On! Thursday 18th

Yey! Gee Bee and Sue have phoned to confirm I'm having the op next Thursday. I said to Sue I can go to the Norwich City Leeds match on Saturday then? "You'll be in LaLa land" she said.

Almost a date

Phew! I spoke to the lovely Sue, Mr Kapur's secretary, on the phone. She diaried my op for the 20th of November back when I was in hospital and she sounds like she's not accustomed to being thwarted. She sent a flurry of emails off today to try and confirm arrangements. Surgery on a Saturday is not a cheap option so I feel very bad about this morning's suspicion of penury. Sue is setting up a clinic appointment for me next week on the assumption that the 20th is on. Feel much better but my word the adrenalin pump had a work out today.

The main cause of anxiety has been lack of communication. Ironically our first official paperwork from the N&N arrived in today's post: an invitation to take part in a research project aimed at improving information for patients and relatives before colorectal surgery. It was handy confirmation that I will be having treatment!

***k!

Tears this morning. I phoned my key worker and she said there is no mid November date for the op - only a possible slot on the 20th. I need to check it out with my GP but it's been a long wait and nothing positive to look forward to. I have a feeling it's something to do with £! My nurse said I shouldn't worry about spread with a delay of a few weeks - months maybe. But if I don't get rid of the tumour on the 20th it will be months! And this is a second cancer! ***k! (I don't care if that's not allowed on Countdown). The silver lining is there is no apparent spread to the liver (I should have been told this when I left hospital) and the chest scan is confirmed as clear. Get ready for a whip round!

Medicine

The bed wasn't a bastard fit. It was a ****ing ****ing ****ing bastard fit. I think some of my swearing was aimed at the tumour not the bed. It is now assembled and ready for my post op recuperation (with a bit of room for Shell and Peggy but not much).

Re  ****ing swearing did anyone else see the story about the guy on Countdown who, faced with the letters: DTCEIASHF, suggested Shitface (bizarrely omitting the D and so missing the 9 letter word). Shame on Channel 4 for editing it out. http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/nov/04/student-slang-too-strong-for-countdown

No news yet. I continue to take my medicine. I do have a prescribed potion in case everyone thinks it's just cake.

I know, she looks like she's planning a saucy  evening with the first of several scotches,  but the clue is in the strap line. This particular laxative is made with Paraffin. I took care to stay in on Bonfire Night - I'm in enough trouble already.

Stevie kindly sent some alternative medicine;  Damson gin which should lubricate in a different way.

Well my phone still ain't ringing so I guess there's no news today. I will phone my keyworker in the morning and post tomorrow.

May be strong language later

Invigorated by messages of support - thanks guys! I feel a bit guilty that people are thinking about me as I follow a daily regime of cake, novels, cinema, cake, computer games, telly.

But today I'm up to putting the plank bed together. The scouser who made it says it needs no screws to assemble just a lot of wiggling; calls it a "bastard fit" - a variation on the mortise & tenon? Better put some music on so the neighbours think I'm singing and dancing

Wow - a Multi Disciplinary Team Meeting!

Mr Kapur and team are meeting on Wednesday 10th November and should let me know when I'll be in for surgery shortly after. Let's hope it'll be more productive than the one in 'Getting On' this week.

Unlucky at games...

Shell has been shopping for my weird low residue diet (bought exquisite cocoa powder from the Green Grocer) and making jellies. She insists on eating the same as me but at least starts the day with fruit and fibre and works off the calories filling the gabions with rocks. Wendy brought round cakes and then beat me with the last go at scrabble with a 7 letter on the triple word. Jules thrashed me 3 times in a row at Backgammon. I shared the weirdly colon like ambience of 'Sparkle' with Rob and of course he picked it up much faster than me. At least I beat Lou at Backgammon which was miserable of me as she had just fixed the boiler. Lovely chocolate cake from Jen and she didn't beat me at anything - how civilized!

Matinees

Hot choc and good movies at cinema city this week; the Kids are all right and Stieg Larson. Enjoying Shell being off work. I'm getting through plenty of trashy novels  - Lucy has a brain tumour in my Scarpetta and the papers: Simon MacCorkindale just died of Bowel Cancer, Danny Baker has cancer, Deborah Orr has cancer. But the Guardian say a paper from the John Radcliffe found fewer people dying of Bowel Cancer among a group who took aspirin every day. And of course John Hartson is still going strong having recovered from Bowel cancer which had spread to the brain. And we thought he was full of fat when he played for Norwich the season before last

Winning Formula!

We thrashed UEA at table tennis. Shell and I both got maximums (winning both our singles and doubles) and came home singin 'What a Feelin'

OUT140

The Choir were part of the OUT140 party at Cromer. Stephanie set one of the Coming Out Tweets as a round and it sounded good. Vince had persuaded the audience to bring cake - still can't get enough. 

I'm ambivalent about my Cancer Coming Out Tweet - it's so passé. Love my I like girls and Batman and Robin movies tho

David gave us a lift home - Thank you Brother!

Halloween

Jason and Amanda, Heather and Eve visit bringing a Halloween Devil outfit for Peggy. She looks Angelic. Heather and Eve help Shell with the Gabion baskets, lobbing bricks and stones in like Navvies - their Granddad's girls

Walking Stevie to the station I see Death on the corner of Wherry Road.... but so do Shell and Stevie- phew!

Fibre free fun

Jules brought me Krispy Kreme Doughnuts from London! The tin is mouthwatering never mind the doughnuts. Wendy is very jealous. The cakes are doing their job - I almost have to undo my belt to take my jeans off now.

Scan

Chest scan today to check for spread. The Waiting room is packed with people drinking litres of milky dye. Happy to escape without any this time. The radiographer smiles and says she'll let me go so I guess there's nothing too worrying at first glance.

I work up a Cryptic Detective Quiz to send Ben Hicks.

Helen McG dropped round the Noisettes cd - sweet!

Vigil

Sang with the Pride Choir at the Vigil against Hate Crime. It was a powerful evening - over 100 people, No to Hate written in candles, moving speeches and we sang well. Timely reminder too that there's always someone worse off than yourself.

Pizza @ Wymer st

Pizza @ Colins with Playstation Move. Wendy thrashed the world Tabletennis superstars with her flat hitting. I ate way too much (2 slices was a big leap after a saline drip). Jules popped in and stayed well after we left shooting things.

Scrabble, cream cakes and sherry

Shell bought me an iPad which has been great for Scrabble, Boggle, Backgammon, Angry Birds and now this blog. We're also kept busy sourcing trace or nil fibre food which will also fatten me up. My diet is anti vegan as cheese and meat are fibre free. Chicken soup is less than 0.1 gram of fibre and Beef consomme has nil (but is pretty horrid apart from containing Sherry). Beef stroganoff is now my signature dish - fillet steak and soured cream. My key worker Gee Bee's main advice was to 'eat more cream cakes'

Di is full of ***t!

Terrible tummy pains all night so rushed to the N&N via Timberhill clinic for morphine (wow!), nasal gastric tube (gag) and flexi rigid camera (ouch - not very flex!).

Duty surgeon draws colostomy bag on me in magic marker as it maybe only option to stop me exploding and showering the ward in poo. I am saved from emergency surgery by Mr Kapur and his colleague from radiology who are keen to clear my obstructed colon with a stent.

Down in radiology I see the tumour on screen via the tiny fibre optic. It's about 4 inches long and is coiling along my colon like a curly telephone cable. After taking a biopsy the medics stick a sleeved wire into it to straighten it up and shove a little cap down on top. It looks like one of the grunt GIs in 'Worms'.

Now the coil is out of the way my bowel can clear. On screen we all see tidal wave approaching the camera and an anxious voice asks if anyone put any mats down.

I use my commode 13 times in the night and the sweet 18 year old next to me pretends nothing odd is going on and keeps her TV headphones on.

Mr Kapur is on holiday for a couple of weeks so the plan is for me to get stronger and have an op - maybe keyhole - around mid November. The guess is that the tumour is caused by the radiotherapy I had for Cervical Cancer 15 years ago - it's right on the middle of the tattoos I've got on my pelvis that the radiotherapists used for lining up the beams.