Toilet in 10 languages

For a change we've been thinking about vacation rather than evacuation, packing rather than emptying bags. The Xeloda advice warns against Sun, Sea, Sand as convalescence. Chemo makes you more sensitive to UV light and sunburn/melanoma. And I imagine the sand would be an irritant in the glue of your bag base plate. Peter Wilson cites hellish US immigration for someone on Xeloda with no fingerprints http://www.neatorama.com/2009/06/02/man-stopped-at-airport-for-having-no-fingerprints/ and there are tales of ostomists having rough pat downs courtesy of airport security. Screening was probably upped in the States by the recent arrest of rapper PSD who claimed the bulge of the 6000 ecstasy pills he was packing was a stoma bag. Believe the online forum braggadocio claims of importing litres booze into festivals? More than half a litre and the bag will be too heavy for the glue and won't look realistic, for the stomaless the bag hole needs to be water (or vodka) proofed and bag users suffer stock depletion angst and are unlikely to donate willingly. You'd be better off with a wine bag. So we'll wait till the weather improves and go off in the caravan armed with top tips on 'camping with a stoma' from a Dutch site which describes the process as 'exciting', gives the word for toilet in 10 languages and suggests a meat hook might come in handy(?).  http://www.stomaatje.com/holidays.html