Chill time

Sharon, my stoma nurse came today and is lovely. She says that getting hungry suddenly is down to not being able to eat much fibre and so carbo load. She's going to get me a special support belt and protector for playing table tennis. She said I wouldn't be up for much for another few weeks.

What a day

From a hideous low point this morning we are both as euphoric as is possible for 2 people who have been repeatedly numbed by the process and potential of cancer. Mr Kapur said he would talk with the oncologist about whether to go for chemo as belt and braces (as Rob pointed out, braces are much easier with a stoma bag!).

The District Nurse was lovely and the metal stitches came out easily.

Please note the change in the Blog Title as I now officially have no cancer!

Clear Lymph!

Mr Kapur phoned to reassure me about the blood clots. And did he reassure me - biopsy results show LYMPH GLANDS CLEAR! There are also good margins in the area of the tumour (no spread). Not bad given that the tumour was graded D (where A is small). Champagne nurse Shell!

Scary bloody morning

Peed a big clot of blood and terrified of spread. GP Mike Laurence very reassuring - probably the result of catheter trauma. District nurse will check when she comes.

Bragging Rights

We whooped the tractor boys 4-1 in the Old Farm Derby. Grant Holt scored a hat trick and was magnificent as was Henri Lansbury. The Ability Counts stand was warm and the toilets very handy! We got a taxi to the ground but the match energized me enough to walk back; less arduous than yesterday. Stitches out tomorrow.

Comfy seats

Shell has swapped our seats at Carrow Road for 2 in the Ability Counts stand; inside, with lifts and toilets. Come on you yellows!

Log blog

Shell the homemaker is relentlessly making fires to keep us warm and cosy. Our wood supply has been a victim of the weather but this afternoon Kate & Rob secretly replenished the woodpile. Thank you!

Tiny Steps

I went for my first walk outside since the op, cleared the path of snow and chopped some firewood. Just kidding! I only walked to the petrol station and back but felt like I'd done all three.

They're back - get the fire on!

My heroines returned from their mercy mission and I now have trimethoprim as well as flucaloxacillin to treat an infection where my canula was. The girls dried off in front of the fire (I'm hot enough and not in a good way!) Sorted in less than 2 hrs. Fingers crossed I didn't pick anything else up at the N&N.

Cranberries are for turkey

The UTI, lurking since my catheter got unplugged in the painful contortions of last Sunday, finally kicked in. Plenty of fluids have kept it at bay but all the cranberries in the world were not going to stop this stinger last night. Nurse Shell had the doc fax the prescription to Riverside Boots and set off with rescue husky Peggy through this morning's blizzard. I'll let you know when they're back.

Lovely Day

Next official appointment is with the District Nurse to remove my stitches on Monday, then on Tuesday the stoma nurse comes to tell us the results of the lymph node biopsy. Until then we'll have a relaxing time and prepare me for tacking Carrow Road steps on Sunday. When I was saying anything to get discharged I offered to watch from home on BBC but the Junior Docs were adamant I should go the match - good dinner party anecdote I guess.

Got the Ashes highlights online and been waited on by nurse Shell. Reading yet another book in which a character has colon cancer. The upside of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest is that Lisbeth Salander, ill in hospital, still manages to kick ass. And I'm sure the Swedish hospital she's in would have had a swankily furnished room specially for poo bag training.

Richard, a fellow patient, gets out today. We played scrabble in the day room yesterday while we waited for my drugs. He had a similar experience to mine and was surprised at the pain when the epidural finished (tho his was worse because the epidural came out prematurely). His cancer was picked up early by using the national screening programme kit. I hope we bump into each other again in several years time at a clinic giving us both the all clear. He was rubbish at scrabble though.

Home

Shell, open fire, red wine(it's a tiny glass!) and it's snowing outside. Peggy's shown no interest in jumping on the bed or my belly - Heaven!

Toilet Training

If I can show the nurse l can manage my stoma bag l can go. No
pressure there then. The location for the test is a gents toilet with
no clean surface on which to put my sterile bits and pieces....of
course l pass. Various drugs were delivered by hand by Brooksie and
Bex came 2 say bye. I AM OUT!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Free?

The doc will let me go today if I pass my stoma training. Can't be
rocket science bagging poo?

--
Sent from my mobile device

Unhealthy Places

Feel great this morning apart from not getting enough sleep. A lot of
bodily fluids got cleared up last night, dozens of drip alarms bleeped
as did constant nurse call bells - sounded like a bad Philip Glass
track and the smell defied comparison. I gotta get out!

--
Sent from my mobile device

More Comment

A fully qualified A1 Harridan she removed my drain tube, which had evaded less seasoned staff members, with one swift snap shooting it thru the air like Annie Oakley's whip. She is not adequately rewarded by the NHS and seemed disproportionately elated with the packet of wine gums I offered in thanks.

Thanks to all the food parcels for Shell You can be sure I will have her on a full perfect hostess training programme when I get home and she will be available for parties/
Civil Partnerships. She has already begun a line in Mini Trifles - a delightful alternative to mash.

Seems like the team haven't been fooled by my suggestion of tomorrow for discharge. I am shattered by walking to the loo 5 times so far today (ok vanity dictated I ditch the Zimmer). Looking like Thursday or Friday.

Which seemed just as well as I and a few of my ward mates watched Peggy waving from the car park. My tummy probably needs to heal a bit more before being closer to that dog.

Are we really getting H Lansbury? Waggsie, Nick - we should be told

Out soon!

Mr K says l can go nxt few days. Few more tubes out today. Doc said
'what Derby' & team sniggered. Told me not to cheer if Norwich score.
I said no if.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Walking

Huge turnaround today down to harridan Pauline who raised an eyebrow at my pain index and insisted that at this stage i should be thinking about walking to the bathroom. Catheter removal dangled as a carrot has been very effective. I got up and washed with stoma nurse Theresa and after lunch walked with physio Johnny. Pain much more bearable.

comment?

wow ta 4 comments girls & Nick. Footbl is gr8 medicin - if we'd won I'd probly be home. think my days of chesting the ball maybe gone tho. No water drinking by med team that i kno - anaesthetist's homebrew more likely. Spot on about potato - the week menu has mash with all meals (macaroni cheese?!)
xxx

Ouch!

Epidural security blanket gone & spasm pain has turned ward blue.
Morphine didnt help. Gonna get better pain relief

--
Sent from my mobile device

Wake up and smell the...

Colin brought chocolate wafer tubes. Am l in Starbucks? Obv No; I'm on
an epidural so no fantasies. Apols to Nil by mouths on ward tho. Can
get up and got Guardian scrabble teaser(phew) so on target for derby
match next sunday. Stevie cheered for me yesterday.
--
Sent from my mobile device

It's a gurgle!

Doctor said I could eat but forgot to tell the man with the trolley so had a passionate debate for my right to minced beef and mash in gravy. Managed to get out of bed and sit in the chair to eat among Heston Blumenthal-style tubes and bottles. Felt strong enough to listen to NCFC on the radio but coming back to a 1-1 draw was quite stressful and I bit on my thermometer when we equalised. My bag started to gurgle this evening which is good news if embarrassing.

New Quiz!

Shell here, have uploaded Di's latest brainteaser for you all which is a Things to do with NHS In Patient Treatment Quiz. Wendy and Ben are going to visit Di this afternoon so I'm sure it will keep them amused if she drifts off to sleep. Di and I are learning new things all the time during her hospital stay. I was amazed to discover that you can get trapped wind in your shoulders! that's why Di was so itchy there the other night. Yesterday I read through the very helpful ileostomy guide whilst Di napped and we had a giggle when she woke up and i read her this little fascinating fact from the sexuality section: "One way to check if you are getting erections overnight is to stick a row of postage stamps with the perforations intact around your penis. If you have an erection overnight, the perforations will be broken in the morning..." It's sweet to see Di laugh. She told Jules she calls her ward the Pink Panther ward. Jules was confused til Di sang "Dilham, dilham, dilham, dilham, dilham, dilham dilhammmmmmmm" The ward are very strict about only two visitors at a time at the allotted times so please let me know if you want to go up and see Di in hospital. Thanks all.

Sleep!

Quiet nite - lots of sleep. Saw mr Kapur & he said when bag bubbles I
can eat. Hope match not fogd off. Shell& Peg cosy@ home

--
Sent from my mobile device

Knickers!

Hiya, Shell again. Well done Di for her first mobile blog. Have just got home from the hospital and am pleased to see it worked. I was there when the surgeon did his rounds which was great. He said he couldn't see any spread of the cancer which is really good news. Operation got complicated cos of all the scar tissue left over from the radiotherapy from 15 years ago. Di is very tired but managed to complete her new quiz for you which i will upload tonight. Meantime, here's the last pic before her op with her showing off her gorgeous operating theatre pants. 

Have bag will travel

I have a temp stoma bag but feel fine!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Back on the ward

Hi all, Shell here. This is just a quickie cos I'm sure Di will update you all tomorrow when she's a bit stronger. The operation was longer than expected and she didn't get back to the ward til 7pm. Had an hour or so with her. She'll fill you in on all the details, just wanted you all to know she's OK. Thanks for thinking of us today.

Lie In!

The op will be around 1.00pm tomorrow so I hope the theatre team don't eat too much pudding at lunch. They'll start off with keyhole but may need to go larger. We won't know for a week or so if the lymph nodes are diseased (and if I'll need chemo). I should be tubeless by and eating sometime on Friday, so fit to listen to Norwich Leeds on Saturday. The lack of appeal of the hospital's food is addressed as part of the pre op - I'm advised to ask visitors to bring white bread ham sandwiches, victoria sponge and baby bels! I'm allowed breakfast at 6am and will check into the Day Procedure unit at 11am. Had to stop off at TK Maxx on the way home to get a dressing gown so I look decent on the way to surgery. Shell pursuaded me not to get the wrestler gown embroidered with skulls and 'Death Before Dishonour'.

Apparently I can text to update my blog so the next thing you read might be some Aldous Huxley like ramble!

Pre Op today

After table tennis training with the twins (Martin's going to teach me evil new serves when I'm convalescing) we went to Jules' last night for cheesecake and tales of Switzerland where she had a good time with Joy. They checked the blog so now there is a tiny patch of green on the stats map. I've got a hit from Sam in Ghana too and one from Alaska (which must be a mistake?).

 Great dinosaur picture from Lucas in the post. Modern toddlers huh? - it says 2 Diana!

Tests for MRSA , blood pressure and stuff this afternoon. I'm terrified I'll get a cold and the anaesthetist will say No Go! I took things a bit far on Google last night and watched some Anterior Resections on video. I did feel a bit queasy. If I was on a desert island I'm  guessing I would be unable to take a sharp flint to myself. I'll check it out this afternoon but I think the op will be several lots of keyhole surgery (they'll take out the lymph nodes too). Last week's Evening news said the N&N has been criticised for using old fashioned kit for Keyhole Surgery which, in Norfolk, does indeed suggest a pointy flint or maybe a rusty jail key. I have no doubt that this was out of date news and the instruments are now the required Gold Standard.

I do feel extremely positive about the operation and surgeon, but once again, reading newspapers and books mitigates against this. I've just finished 'The Suspicions of Mr Whitcher' in which 3 people die of an obstructed bowel. No more reading for me - where's Ellie's mix mp3s?

Been to Brum/No Bag Required

We stayed the week end with Shell's folks in Birmingham and Bridie provided superb fibre free fry ups and a roast with trifle which will be a mouth watering memory in a few days when I am on Neutricia Pre- op drink. I had a bundle of info (including a Dvd) from the colorectal nurses in the post with helpful pointers about before and after. The operation is called a High Anterior Resection and means I shouldn't need a stoma bag. Amazingly Mr Kapur will remove most of my sigmoid colon and sew the rest back together. I hope the colon is as elastic as they so or I will be permanently curled up into a ball. I should be out of hospital in 4 -7 Days and it'll take a couple of months to feel fit again, maybe 3 weeks to be able to drive.

We saw Maria and Ellie and Shaun and Sue as well as Bridie and Sean in Acocks Green and talked to undergraduate Tom on the phone. Ellie kindly gave me a Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus/ Demi Lovato mix cd. I'm on a low residue diet to try and limit this sort of thing! (But thanks for the Fightstar and Frank Turner tracks). Ta also Maria for slippers and book and Bridie for Holy Water.

Wendy and Colin round tonight for send off meal. Wendy showed us the latest baby scan. We're both being seen at the hospital, we both tire easily, have to drink loads of liquids and get ravenous .....but I'll be able to have a few G & Ts soon!

Op On! Thursday 18th

Yey! Gee Bee and Sue have phoned to confirm I'm having the op next Thursday. I said to Sue I can go to the Norwich City Leeds match on Saturday then? "You'll be in LaLa land" she said.

Almost a date

Phew! I spoke to the lovely Sue, Mr Kapur's secretary, on the phone. She diaried my op for the 20th of November back when I was in hospital and she sounds like she's not accustomed to being thwarted. She sent a flurry of emails off today to try and confirm arrangements. Surgery on a Saturday is not a cheap option so I feel very bad about this morning's suspicion of penury. Sue is setting up a clinic appointment for me next week on the assumption that the 20th is on. Feel much better but my word the adrenalin pump had a work out today.

The main cause of anxiety has been lack of communication. Ironically our first official paperwork from the N&N arrived in today's post: an invitation to take part in a research project aimed at improving information for patients and relatives before colorectal surgery. It was handy confirmation that I will be having treatment!

***k!

Tears this morning. I phoned my key worker and she said there is no mid November date for the op - only a possible slot on the 20th. I need to check it out with my GP but it's been a long wait and nothing positive to look forward to. I have a feeling it's something to do with £! My nurse said I shouldn't worry about spread with a delay of a few weeks - months maybe. But if I don't get rid of the tumour on the 20th it will be months! And this is a second cancer! ***k! (I don't care if that's not allowed on Countdown). The silver lining is there is no apparent spread to the liver (I should have been told this when I left hospital) and the chest scan is confirmed as clear. Get ready for a whip round!

Medicine

The bed wasn't a bastard fit. It was a ****ing ****ing ****ing bastard fit. I think some of my swearing was aimed at the tumour not the bed. It is now assembled and ready for my post op recuperation (with a bit of room for Shell and Peggy but not much).

Re  ****ing swearing did anyone else see the story about the guy on Countdown who, faced with the letters: DTCEIASHF, suggested Shitface (bizarrely omitting the D and so missing the 9 letter word). Shame on Channel 4 for editing it out. http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/nov/04/student-slang-too-strong-for-countdown

No news yet. I continue to take my medicine. I do have a prescribed potion in case everyone thinks it's just cake.

I know, she looks like she's planning a saucy  evening with the first of several scotches,  but the clue is in the strap line. This particular laxative is made with Paraffin. I took care to stay in on Bonfire Night - I'm in enough trouble already.

Stevie kindly sent some alternative medicine;  Damson gin which should lubricate in a different way.

Well my phone still ain't ringing so I guess there's no news today. I will phone my keyworker in the morning and post tomorrow.

May be strong language later

Invigorated by messages of support - thanks guys! I feel a bit guilty that people are thinking about me as I follow a daily regime of cake, novels, cinema, cake, computer games, telly.

But today I'm up to putting the plank bed together. The scouser who made it says it needs no screws to assemble just a lot of wiggling; calls it a "bastard fit" - a variation on the mortise & tenon? Better put some music on so the neighbours think I'm singing and dancing

Wow - a Multi Disciplinary Team Meeting!

Mr Kapur and team are meeting on Wednesday 10th November and should let me know when I'll be in for surgery shortly after. Let's hope it'll be more productive than the one in 'Getting On' this week.

Unlucky at games...

Shell has been shopping for my weird low residue diet (bought exquisite cocoa powder from the Green Grocer) and making jellies. She insists on eating the same as me but at least starts the day with fruit and fibre and works off the calories filling the gabions with rocks. Wendy brought round cakes and then beat me with the last go at scrabble with a 7 letter on the triple word. Jules thrashed me 3 times in a row at Backgammon. I shared the weirdly colon like ambience of 'Sparkle' with Rob and of course he picked it up much faster than me. At least I beat Lou at Backgammon which was miserable of me as she had just fixed the boiler. Lovely chocolate cake from Jen and she didn't beat me at anything - how civilized!

Matinees

Hot choc and good movies at cinema city this week; the Kids are all right and Stieg Larson. Enjoying Shell being off work. I'm getting through plenty of trashy novels  - Lucy has a brain tumour in my Scarpetta and the papers: Simon MacCorkindale just died of Bowel Cancer, Danny Baker has cancer, Deborah Orr has cancer. But the Guardian say a paper from the John Radcliffe found fewer people dying of Bowel Cancer among a group who took aspirin every day. And of course John Hartson is still going strong having recovered from Bowel cancer which had spread to the brain. And we thought he was full of fat when he played for Norwich the season before last

Winning Formula!

We thrashed UEA at table tennis. Shell and I both got maximums (winning both our singles and doubles) and came home singin 'What a Feelin'