Diarms

Clean and Cheap

Dr Lukasz whizzed the camera around my colon all the way round to the Toblerone channel joining the colon to the stomach and all we could see on the screen was healthy pink bowel, some fancy piercings  where Mr Kapur had done some stapling and a crater which is my new pouch. He signed me off and sent me away with photos which look like pictures of Dr Who sets. Dr Lukasz wanted me to come back often though - he likes how short my post operative bowel is plus I didn't use sedation/gas &  air. We agreed I was cheap.

Most of the many patients waiting for Gastro appointments have fasted for a while and are pretty hungry. So it was unfortunate that there was a fund raising cake stall right outside the clinic. When Lu came to collect me though we grabbed Millionaire's Shortbread and Fairy Cakes. Yum.

Picolax and telescopes

Colonoscopy appointment this afternoon so two sachets of Picolax have done their stuff and my Colon is shiny and empty ready for the 'telescope as wide as a little finger'. My tummy has definitely settled down since the last blog entry but Mr Kapur thought it time for a colonoscopy anyway. I've never had one before - when the tumour was discovered I was so full of poo they couldn't get the scope in! Apparently the scope travels along the colon with the help of pumped air so it's not going to be the most graceful procedure - patients tend to need to get rid of the gas periodically. Not Samantha Brick for the day.

Reading the advice

The stable tummy has disappeared and is replaced by bloating, explosive bottom and stomach pain. I rationalised it as healing, disagreeable food, bugs stress and then today, filing correspondence I saw a circular from the colorectal team advising if these symptoms lasted for a month or so to contact them. It is more than a month. And I know if I hadn't seen the circular again I would have gone on rationalising. On the phone. Tomorrow. First thing.

Oh no I have a cold!

This time last year I had just started a 6 month course of Chemo so I'm hugely grateful that this year I am just getting a cold. Amazed that the various fruit juices (and abundance of 40% spirits) last night didn't knock it on the head. Great game today with The Canaries again saving the best till last. Love that Never Say Die attitude and Fulham didn't deserve to win - how could they when Jol played the 2nd half without a striker?

A year on

Wow, it's a year since my cancer op and Ileostomy. I feel so lucky that the operations went so well, that the bag and chemo were bearable and that the internal JPouch seems no different from a normal colon.

And what a year. This time in 2010 I listened to Norwich battle out a draw with Championship Leeds. Yesterday we just missed a draw with Arsenal. 'Occupational therapy' at Future Radio has been brilliant as has getting Spike, a 3 year old Tibetan Terrier, from the rescue centre.

My other therapy has been writing this blog - it's helped me feel in control of things, has been a great way of keeping in touch (come in Iceland, Ghana, Cambridge, Blackheath, Walthamstow), and rediscovering friends (Lucy, Frances, Betty) and it's been great to get emails from folks going through similar stuff who've found something useful amongst my ramblings. The hits have come from around the world; particularly popular are the stoma Teddy photos.

I'm not quite as assiduous a correspondent these days but I will check in after my next Outpatients appointment with Mr Kapur on 21st December.

Small steps

Been ages since I last blogged - apologies. Partly it's because I've been waiting for things to settle down ... and they just dont! Wine gums are good. Partly also my domestic situation has changed. wine gums (less of the gums) - good. No alarms from a recent scan - I will hear in detail at an appointment in late December. Meanwhile I steer clear of onion rings and bottled ales.

New Kit always On

The problem with the wonderful new bespoke equipment Mr Kapur has made for me is that it shows off - it always wants to be doing stuff. Yesterday in a desperate attempt to have a night's undisturbed sleep, I had a largish lunch and then only small snacks until a post NCFC victory feast of chicken (no fibre) and my old bag settling allies, wine gums. It worked. So a stock of wine gums into the studio tomorrow!

Oats, Corn, hops!

More forbidden fruit - Passionfruit and Pineapple, high fibre - Muesli, Sweetcorn but enough of that worthy stuff. I am watching the football,eating Nuts and drinking Lager. Whoo Hoo! Cheers Mr Kapur!

Tum of Glass

2am Thursday brought searing stomach pain at the rejoin wound. Maybe a blockage as nothing was going south (except wind which was encouraging) Grateful that the feeling of digesting glass shards didn't happen for my Breakfast Show debut, I drove down to see Dad as arranged - the pain kept me alert. A hot bath when I got home and things seemed to start working again. Belly circumference down to 31 inches today. Problem is the ballooning seems to have bruised or cracked my ribs on the right side and now it's subsided I can feel them when I breathe. If it's still a problem on Monday I'll call the GP. Meantime paracetamol and my last day of antibiotics.

Skins

The adrenalin rush of...eating an apple with the skin on, a tomato with pips in, beanshoots. Wow life without a bag is exciting! Nocturnal bathroom visits are no fewer though - not sure how much of that is the antibiotics but oddly daytime activity is not quite as frantic. Tum down an inch to 33.

Co-amoxiclav

The last three letters of the antibiotic tell the story and my nighttimes are very busy. It's doing the job though as belly circumference is down 2 from yesterday to 34inches (thanks for the suggestion Ali although it's a scary thought that this time last week the Tum's girth would have been around 46 inches or more).

Summoned for bloodtests today as my potassium was low when I left hospital and I'll have another on Monday which I'll have to remember after I feature on Future Radio's new Breakfast Team. It's something that kept my head positive while I was in hospital and I was dreading having it set back with more surgery. I'll make sure I take my breakfast Co-amoxiclav after I leave the studio.

Home!

The Senior Registrar was happy to sign me off & I'm sure the ward staff were pleased to see the back of me. Jen & Lu had been stars yet again and the fridge was stocked. Spike seemed to know who I was which was reassuring - I rescued him, had him for 3 weeks then had 10 days in hospital. Now that my tum's gone down a lot I'm surprisingly mobile; the gap where the stoma was has been drawn together with a single purse stitch and the internal wound where the colon was rejoined has been happily tented by my swollen belly which may have helped it heal! So we had a decent walk. Jules came round (I suspect there's a rota to check up on me), then early night. It's going to be fine.

Breaking... News

Ladylike as ever i still have not pumped but my visit to the loo just
now signalled a functioning, wide awake bowel - with wind! Get me
outta here.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Deflation

The antibiotics have reduced my tum from imminent birth size to beer
belly & it's got some give @ last. Water stayed down so had mashed
banana 4 lunch (rather than a small portion of the menued Shpd's Pie,
Cornbeef Hash or Veg Goula
h/Dumplings - a lot of beef & fat 4 sick people?).

--
Sent from my mobile device

Bucket

Joined briefly on the ward last night by a confused but feisty 88 yr old. For much of the night she described detailed routes thru her house in a hunt for arcane items - hearing aid batteries, a bucket in the kitchen, was obsessed about window orientation. In the morning as she sought the kitchen bucket (a commode sufficed) we saw H was blind. As the staff made beds she told great stories of training her 5 Guide Dogs like Whisp who did 'Busy for a Biscuit' in the garden (not in a bucket) before bed.

Amoxycillin & Metrozonidal administered last night via drip. Tum still huge but a bit less gassy. 1st Nurse I saw this morning assumed she was to take the drip away. I think the default nurse care plan was to discharge me and see what happened - would have been nasty. Apart from dodgy sewing, the Senior Reg's mistake was to think too binary. He thought if there was a surgical problem the blood tests would show it. In fact they did but not to the level he expected. The leak from bowel to bloodstream is small but it's there. Mr K wasn't around enough but by wresting me from the knife of the duty surgeon & stenting last year's tumour, he has good credit.

Foul Up

Because drinking seemed to infl8 my stomach, I have resisted the
nurses/junior medics calls to up my liquid intake & come off the drip.
That's why I feel better today instead of having peritonitis - a CT
Scan shows the bowel has leaked/the reversal join been contamin8ed. Mr
K was v big & apologized - said something not cleaned enough when
stitching the join or a cut that didn't get sewn up. He confirmed(!)
that l shdn't drink & should stay on the drip. Drip antibiotics 2nite to start to sort the infectlon & avoid further
surgery. Down the hatch!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Set Back

I'll have been in a week 2morrow. The reversal has made my bowel
unhappy. My tummy is hugely pregnant with wind so altho l can poo l'm
back on the drip until I pump. Even sipping water makes more gas so is
not on. Mobility should help so l do ward circuits with my drip stand.
Wish l was walking Spike who's having a lovely time with Lu & Jen.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Finally - a hangover!

The Pride Weekend revealed new improved energy levels. On Saturday I was able to deliver stuff to the Forum for Shell's shop, do the Outside Broadcast with Future Radio, trundle my gramophone-horned amp round the Parade playing sweet sounds and Pride Live! idents, compere some of the show, deliver stuff back home, sing with Shell, Luke and Alex at Marzanos....and go pubbing until 2am. Finally I can stay up drinking long enough to get a hangover!

Pencilled in

Sue has diaried my reversal op for 20th October which will be a year from my first encounter with Mr Kapur when he rescued me from an unplanned Ileostomy after an emergency admission. I may well be bounced from the list by priority patients but I'm happy to be non urgent this year.

Awaiting Reversal!

I guess Mr Kapur's interpretation of my stranding scan is different to Dr Biswas' - I've had a letter advising that he's scheduling the stoma reversal! This is a pretty simple, non- urgent intervention so I'll probably have to wait a while. I've emailed the wonderful Sue, Kapur's secretary, for a rough idea of when I might be in.

Chips and tonic

This morning heralded an embryonic swirl on a finger tip, a surge of energy and less of a robot mouth (taste buds not Stephen Hawking speak). My throat and belly feel better too - I'd associated acid reflux with cancer and felt a bit blue when I had it for a few days but it's far more likely to be post chemo over indulgence - G&T and Chips.

Stranding in the Way of Control

Dr Biz phoned - he's just back from leave. He said essentially the scan's fine but shows some stranding which is likely to be scarring or adhesions from the op/cancer/chemo. So I have to have another scan in 4 months to check nothing sinister is going on. I'm guessing I stay a Bagger for a little while longer.

Here's the link for streaming or downloading Monday's show:http://www.futureradio.co.uk/podcast/2011/june/pride-live-podcast-27-6-11

Another Day Another Ansaphone

Think I've fallen between the two consultants so I'm hoping the stalwart Stoma Nurses can get in between - they're used to getting to difficult places.

Here's a draft entry to my 'bag on paragon' gallery - imagine it's Kylie not me (tough I know). I hope to get loads of photos of Stoma folk posing with their bags. There are an estimated 1.2 million people in the UK with a bag and another 13500 having the op every year and yet before I had the op I knew no one who had or had had a bag. Lots of new stoma patients are youngsters with Crones or Ulcerative Colitis and knowing about peers and or superstars who've done bags would surely help make the process easier to deal with?

No News

I've left a message on an ansaphone somewhere up at the hospital so I hope to get a call sometime soon re the scan. I'm guessing if there was a problem I would have heard by now but in my darker moments... As ever there's Pride Live to take my mind off everything except the script for the show, and tonight the crew and guests were unbelievable with slick, witty features and cool personas belying the hideous portacabin cauldron of Future Radio. Podcast up tomorrow.

Matt's birthday party last night and I got pleasantly pickled for the first time in 8 months (not that I've been unpleasantly pickled in that time either although I have imbibed a fair bit of poison). So tonight I'm carrying on where I left off with Bagger's Pimms; lemonade (carefully flattened)and cucumber (peeled and deseeded). Hope to have enough Dutch Courage left tomorrow to phone Dr Biswas and ask for the scan result.

Bored

Still tingly, still stuff tastes of metal, still tired; bored now!

My phone Still Ain't Ringin'

To Paraphrase Randy Travis; Since my phone still ain't ringing, I assume it still ain't Dr Biswas. No news of the scan results yet. There is a result from Monday's other exercise in technology though - the podcast is up (although the download file doesn't work at the moment so please press play).

Uncharted Territory

I've had an 8 day break from Xeloda before - the Royal Wedding delayed the weeekly drugs issue by a day - so this ninth day off was uncharted territory. Still metallic mouth, still tingling fingers and toes. An increase in energy was sapped by a bag leak and associated panic, changing and cleaning up. Tomorrow is another day!

Hot Shot

The scan involved drinking a jug of what looked like Pernod but tasted of Dettol over an hour then having a shot in the arm that fizzed round my body in a nanosecond and felt like intravenous Deep Heat and also made me feel as if I'd wet myself. Results over the phone from Dr Biswas shortly I hope. From Radiography to the Radio and Pride Live went well. Podcast should be up on Wednesday.

Pride Live but tiring!

Hear me rapidly run out of juice on last Monday's Pride Live.

Radio and Radiography

I'm happy to be presenting Pride Live at 6pm on Monday so I can get stressed about that rather than about the scan at 3!